You Need to Be Your Spouse’s Biggest Defender and Booster

Filed in Living by on July 16, 2015 0 Comments

wives support husbandHave you ever been at a party and someone starts badmouthing their spouse behind their back? A woman will criticize her husband: “He’s such a jerk! You won’t believe what he did the other day…” Or a man will comment about his wife, “She’s such a bitch! All she does is nag, nag nag…” I’ve heard it all: “He never helps out with the baby,” “She doesn’t pay the bills on time,” “He never helps with the housework.”

Elaine and I just can’t believe it when we hear things like this. We would never talk about each other this way in front of others. Just the other day, Elaine happened to mention to me that her and a friend were talking about how both of their husbands are such Type A’s. So I nervously commented, “Oh, you must have had some fun talking about all of our quirks and idiosyncrasies.” Elaine responded, “Oh no, we respect both of you too much. You are good and generous men, and we would never say anything bad about either of you.”

Now those are fine and trustworthy spouses.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I think a husband and wife need to be each other’s biggest defender, even booster. There are so many people out there that are just waiting to cut you down, because they are petty, jealous, or insecure. The one person you should be able to count on to have your back, at all times, is your spouse.

I’m not saying there aren’t times when a husband or wife might want to share some complaints or concerns about their spouse with a close friend or family member, either to vent a bit or get some advice. Elaine and I have had some bumps along the road (I’ve done a lot of stupid things), and I’m sure she has occasionally shared some of this with a good friend or maybe her mom, which is understandable.

How consistently do you defend, support, and boost your spouse? Could you be more upstanding in this regard?

All relationships, but especially one as close as marriage, are built on a foundation of trust and respect. Put a solid foundation under your marriage, and it will be as steady as a rock.

About the Author ()

TIM MCINTYRE retired in 2004 from his position as president of Applied Systems after facilitating a successful sale of the company. At only forty-six years old, he made the unusual decision to fully retire to pursue other interests and simply enjoy free time. As a hard-driving Type A personality, this turned out to be a significant challenge for the Notre Dame and University of Chicago-educated MBA, CPA, and Certified Cash Manager.

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