Why You Shouldn’t Have an Affair

Filed in Living by on August 21, 2015 2 Comments

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Have an affair. Life is short.™

Ashley Madison website slogan

Don’t have an affair. Life will seem very, very long if you do!

Tim McIntyre

You may have seen in the news lately that the Ashley Madison website, which caters to married people seeking to have an affair, had their website hacked. The people who signed up to Ashley Madison to explore an adulterous relationship now have all of their information in the hands of hackers. This includes not only email addresses and other contact information, but also such salacious details as sexual preferences. So, suffice it to say, there are a lot of anxious married people walking around these days!

I just can’t understand how people could be so stupid as to sign up for an internet service like this. “Let’s see, you want me to enter all of this information about myself to an adulterer’s website over the internet, which is known to store data forever, including personal contact information and how I like to do it in bed.” What could possibly go wrong?

Why can’t people just have affairs the old-fashioned way? Entice a willing coworker into an empty office or conference room, or pick someone up in a bar and go to a “four hour nap” no-tell motel. Much wiser than putting yourself up for sale on the internet for all to see!

I want you to know that while this post is mostly meant to be tongue-in-cheek, affairs really are devastating, both to the marital relationship and for both spouses personally. The betrayed spouse is emotionally devastated, and, as far as the betrayer—how can they live with themselves, and with God?

In spite of this, I want to end this post on a humorous note. Ashley Madison advertises that you should have an affair because life is short. Go for it! In fact, if you have an affair, your life will be interminably long. This is because you will get caught, your marriage will end in divorce, and your spouse will take you for all you’re worth and leave you destitute for the rest of your miserable life!

About the Author ()

TIM MCINTYRE retired in 2004 from his position as president of Applied Systems after facilitating a successful sale of the company. At only forty-six years old, he made the unusual decision to fully retire to pursue other interests and simply enjoy free time. As a hard-driving Type A personality, this turned out to be a significant challenge for the Notre Dame and University of Chicago-educated MBA, CPA, and Certified Cash Manager.

Comments (2)

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  1. Colleen says:

    Tim, I agree with you! Meeting people face to face (in a bar or in the local Target check-out line) is the way to go! However, with that being said, it is the way to go for single people like me. Not married people that promise to love and cherish one another. That is a promise that needs to be kept.
    Love you, Tim and Elaine!
    Colleen

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