Three Simple Tests to Determine if Your Significant Other is Your Soul Mate

Filed in Living by on February 18, 2016 2 Comments

Soul Mate 3

Everybody wants to find their soul mate. Who wants to spend the rest of their lives with someone they just sort of like, but who doesn’t make them swoon? That would be sad.

I haven’t been able to come up with a good working definition of what a soul mate is. However, I have three practical tests for whether or not your significant other might be, in fact, “the one.”

  1. How Do You Handle Vacations, and the Closeness They Engender?

When you and your significant other go on a vacation, you spend much more time together than in your usual daily routine, many decisions need to be made, and you are heavily exposed to each other’s quirks and idiosyncrasies.

This can either be a good thing or a bad thing.

I have spoken to some couples after they come back from a trip and get the sense they can’t wait to get away from each other. This is a bad sign.

I think it is indicative that Elaine and I are soul mates in that when we get back from a vacation, we immediately begin to miss the togetherness and closeness we had while we were on our trip, and it makes us sad that we won’t be able to continue to spend so much time together. This is a great sign!

  1. How Do You Treat One Another in the Face of the Agony of Pain and the Joy of Victory?

Elaine and I were at our pool in Naples one day when an older woman friend of ours told us that her husband had been quite sick the last couple of months. She then confided in us that she was getting fed up with having to take care of him. She said she never signed up to be a nurse! Elaine and I were both a bit shocked. Later on, Elaine and I talked about it and agreed that she had, in fact, agreed to be a nurse for him, when she stated as part of her wedding vows to love and care for him “in sickness and in health.”

When Elaine is sick, my first thought is that I wish it were me that was in pain rather than her. I would gladly switch places with her so she wouldn’t have to suffer, that’s how much I love her. Since that isn’t possible, I instead drop everything so I can take doting care of her until she is well again. And she always does the same for me.

What about the flip side—when personal victories arise? The reaction here should be the direct opposite of what you do when there is pain and suffering. While you want to take the place of your soul mate when they are in pain, in the case of a victory, you would much prefer that it be your significant other that shines, rather than you. Also, you step aside, so they can fully enjoy the limelight and bask in the glow of their success.

  1. What Are Your Reasons for Being Faithful?

OK, so you’ve never cheated on your significant other. Good for you. But the more important question is why you’ve never strayed.

Some people don’t cheat because they take their wedding vows seriously and they have too much integrity to break that commitment. This is all well and good, but not necessarily indicative that your spouse is your soul mate. Others don’t stray for any variety of reasons: it is morally wrong, or they don’t want to hurt their significant other’s feelings, or no one is willing to cheat with them, or they are too lazy to go out and find someone else, etc., etc. None of these reasons are the really important and telling one.

The only reason for not straying that reveals with 100% certainty that your significant other is your soul mate is this: you have never met another member of the opposite sex, and you know you never will, that could ever measure up to the incredible, unbelievable person you have chosen to be by your side, and who has chosen to be by yours, for the rest of your lives and beyond.

If you feel this way, then you have found your soul mate!

He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.

Leo Tolstoy

About the Author ()

TIM MCINTYRE retired in 2004 from his position as president of Applied Systems after facilitating a successful sale of the company. At only forty-six years old, he made the unusual decision to fully retire to pursue other interests and simply enjoy free time. As a hard-driving Type A personality, this turned out to be a significant challenge for the Notre Dame and University of Chicago-educated MBA, CPA, and Certified Cash Manager.

Comments (2)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Karin says:

    Wow – couldn’t have written it better myself!!! I’m in total agreement.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *