Someone You Should Know, Part 4

Filed in Living by on December 4, 2014 7 Comments

ElaineMarrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but shine on it.

Josh Billings

Today I am profiling my beautiful and sweet wife, Elaine.

I have to admit, the first night I met her, I was just enthralled.

She’s gorgeous, of course, but I was also blown away by Elaine’s empathy and compassion. I happened to share with her that I was traveling a lot for work and how difficult that had become. I was leaving the next day for a weeklong trip to yet another small town where I would be living in a motel and working long hours. Elaine listened intently as I expressed my frustrations. She didn’t try to offer advice or tell me what to do, but rather just said how she could understand how I felt, as she gently held my hand and peered into my eyes.

On the way home in my car, I said to myself I was going to marry the lovely girl I met in the bar that night.

And I have since found that if you marry for the right reasons, you will be blessed beyond compare.

I’ve had countless illnesses, obstacles, periods of weakness, and other difficulties throughout my adult life, as most people have. I’ve often counted my lucky stars that I chose such a wonderful partner to be by my side through it all and help me cope. The most recent unexpected challenge I faced was a deep depression that I fell into a couple of years after I retired. Depression runs in my mother’s side of the family, and as an intense Type A, I fell fast and hard. At one point I could barely get myself out of bed. I often sat at the kitchen table and just sobbed. It was the first time in my life that I felt completely helpless and without hope.

Elaine’s tenderness and care likely saved my life. In the deepest part of my depression I developed “suicide ideation,” which is thoughts and ideas of suicide. It then ominously progressed from occasional thoughts to detailed planning, which is quite dangerous.

If it had not been for Elaine’s comfort, support, and love, I may ultimately have implemented my sad and tragic plan. I was one of the lucky ones who was able to make it through to the other side.

Elaine’s compassion and kindness reveal itself in many other ways, of course. We have some members of our family, as most families do, who haven’t always made the best choices. It is easy to dismiss them as weak or just not good people. Elaine does not at all treat them this way. She goes out of her way to be sympathetic, forgiving, and helpful, and I love and respect her dearly for this.

I have had people tell me they admire me for my academic achievements, career success, and other accomplishments. They conclude that I must be a smart person.

I can tell you what makes me smart, and it’s definitely none of that stuff. I’m smart because I recognized the first night I met her that I simply must make Elaine my wife, and now I am making sure I spend my entire life being completely devoted to her. In that way, yes, I suppose I am smart.

About the Author ()

TIM MCINTYRE retired in 2004 from his position as president of Applied Systems after facilitating a successful sale of the company. At only forty-six years old, he made the unusual decision to fully retire to pursue other interests and simply enjoy free time. As a hard-driving Type A personality, this turned out to be a significant challenge for the Notre Dame and University of Chicago-educated MBA, CPA, and Certified Cash Manager.

Comments (7)

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  1. Jo Anne says:

    I am so lucky to have had Elaine as my sister in law and now as my friend, she is a great person always has been there for me always will, just remember Tim it takes two to create a wonderful marriage your pretty special yourself!!!
    Jo Anne

  2. Ed deMartin says:

    Thanks for sharing this about Elaine. Marie and I, as your former neighbors, agree that your wife is one of the kindest, nicest, most considerate and always “up” people we know. (To say nothing of her extraordinarily green thumb and her husband who is not such a bad guy himself.
    Looking forward to seeing you guys again in 2015.

  3. Colleen McIntyre says:

    Tim…You are so right! Elaine has been a beautiful, exceptional addition to our family. She has helped the McIntyre family through numerous difficult times and always has shown us extreme tenderness, support and affection. I am so happy you started talking to her that night so many years ago. Way to go, Tim!

    Lots of Love,

  4. Annelle Paschal says:

    Thanks for sharing your heartfelt love story; I am so glad our paths have crossed as volunteers at Silver Cross Hospital.

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