Quiz: Is Your Girlfriend or Wife Crazy?

Filed in Living by on November 17, 2016 0 Comments

crazy-woman-2Guys talk a lot about girls, and aside from sex, the topic often runs to whether or not she’s crazy.

Many of you have probably viewed a youtube video called “The Hot Crazy Matrix – A Man’s Guide to Women.” In it a nerdy engineer-type guy discusses differing combinations of “hot” and “crazy” in women, and identifies “go zones,” “no go zones,” and the like. If you haven’t seen it, you should, because it’s hilarious. You can watch it at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU.

This quiz is a slightly different take on the same subject. It is designed for you to be able to determine specifically just how crazy your girlfriend or wife is, using some key criteria. This should help a great deal in any “go” or “no go” decision you might need to make! So with that in mind, let’s play.

Please answer the following five questions yes or no, as to whether or not they apply to your significant other. This is a very unscientific test—if you want to know if she is certifiably crazy, you should seek the assistance of a professional (and leave me out of it)!

  1. On a beauty scale of 1 to 10, is she a 9 or 10?
  2. Does she have many tattoos, especially large ones, and ones that are philosophical or life–related in nature?
  3. Is she obsessed with her looks: always changing hair color and styles, exercise-obsessed, wears very revealing clothing (especially in inappropriate venues), has had one or many plastic surgeries, will never be caught out in public without full makeup, etc.?
  4. Does she often post selfies on Facebook, and also philosophical statements, especially ones that are about her wild spirit, lack of caring about what others think, and that there is no one else in the world quite like her?
  5. Does she have “crazy eyes” – by this I mean do they either linger too long or not long enough, dart around when she is excited (which is most of the time), and are generally “socially-inappropriate”?

Now wasn’t that fun?

Before we discuss your significant other’s score, I want to explain why question #1 is indicative of craziness in women. I doubt that stunningly beautiful girls are likely born any crazier than more modest looking women. However, I believe society makes them that way, what with all of the constant fawning over them by men, and the venom they elicit from women. So, while it may not be their fault—crazy nonetheless!

Now to the results. If your girlfriend or wife got a score of 0 or 1, she is probably pleasantly (and thankfully) sane. If she got a score of 2 or 3, you have cause for worry—keep her on a short leash. If she got a score of 4, just walk away and don’t ever come back. If she got a score of 5, run, don’t walk! She’s stone cold crazy!

My female readers might wonder why I say this quiz is for female significant others, and do not also recommend it for evaluating the less fair sex. Well, that’s because it hits a bit too close to home. I’m definitely not a 9 or a 10, but with my fitness obsession, large tattoo on my upper back, philosophical posts on Facebook, and “mental institution” eyes, I’m afraid Elaine might finally decide to walk away, or possibly even run!


About the Author ()

TIM MCINTYRE retired in 2004 from his position as president of Applied Systems after facilitating a successful sale of the company. At only forty-six years old, he made the unusual decision to fully retire to pursue other interests and simply enjoy free time. As a hard-driving Type A personality, this turned out to be a significant challenge for the Notre Dame and University of Chicago-educated MBA, CPA, and Certified Cash Manager.

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