Why Katy, Mariah and J Lo Suck and Gaga Rocks

Filed in Lady Gaga by on July 30, 2014 0 Comments

Lady Gaga crowd surfing

When Katy Perry first became popular, I thought she was kind of cool. Songs like “I Kissed a Girl” and “Teenage Dream” were edgy and she rocked pretty good in concert. Then all of a sudden she started with the lollipops, cupcake bra, and all of that lame crap, and I was like, “Huh?” And her music also changed, to ridiculous songs like “Roar” and “Double Rainbow.” So now she just completely sucks.

Mariah has also become a joke. Again, her early material was good, because she has such a great voice. But then she became so self-centered. Now when she performs, she acts like royalty, and just stands there like a queen and never moves. Who the hell wants to go to a live show and see that? Her albums also reflect how self-absorbed she has become. The album titles say it all: “The Emancipation of Mimi,” “The Adventures of Mimi,” and her latest, “Me. I Am Mariah…The Elusive Chanteuse.” She’s Mariah—I’m so glad we cleared that up! She’s become insufferable.

And then there’s J Lo. She’s nice and harmless enough. She’s hot looking and a great dancer, I’ll give her those props. But her songs suck. Do you know what her top 3 songs of all time are? They are “I’m Real,” “Ain’t It Funny,” and “If You Had My Love.” Who the hell ever heard of these? I think part of the problem is that her voice just isn’t that interesting or distinctive. So she is completely useless.

I think sometimes how I would just love to see Gaga and Katy Perry on stage together. Katy, with all of her cake, candy, and lollipops, and Lady Gaga stomping around, swearing, and singing about sex dreams. Gaga would kick all of that cake and other crap off the stage, and probably kick Katy Perry’s ass too! And that would be the end of that!

That’s our beloved Gaga.

 

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About the Author ()

TIM MCINTYRE retired in 2004 from his position as president of Applied Systems after facilitating a successful sale of the company. At only forty-six years old, he made the unusual decision to fully retire to pursue other interests and simply enjoy free time. As a hard-driving Type A personality, this turned out to be a significant challenge for the Notre Dame and University of Chicago-educated MBA, CPA, and Certified Cash Manager.

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