A Great Insight About Life, and From a Hollywood Actress!

Filed in Living by on November 6, 2014 4 Comments

SHARON STONE at amfAR MilanoHollywood actors and actresses generally aren’t the most brilliant people in our society, and as such, they rarely make any meaningful observations. Watch an interview with Tom Cruise, or any episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” and you’ll see what I mean.

That’s why I was so shocked when I heard this profound insight from Sharon Stone. It wasn’t actually her original thought, but I’ll give her credit for recognizing its value and passing it along to others through the media.

A movie director friend of hers had recently passed away. Just before he died, she sat at his bedside and they talked. It was during this conversation that he made this observation about life:

“I have found that everything people do is motivated by one basic desire: to love and be loved. All of the fear, greed, happiness, power, control, pleasure, anxiety, etc., it all is driven by this one basic need, to give love to others and to receive love in return.”

I think this is absolutely right. I would even expand on his insight a bit, by saying that our need to be loved consists not only of love from our family and romantic love from a significant other, but also the desire to simply be validated and accepted by others. We all want to believe that we are important and valued. We all seek basic validation of our thought processes, contributions at work and home, station in life, and just simply ourselves as human beings. In short, we want to matter.

With this concept in mind, we can better understand why some people are so obsessed with money, power, and status. Maybe we can now view them with a bit more empathy and understanding—they are simply yearning to be validated and accepted, and therefore loved, by accumulating material things and influence. It may seem unnecessary and misguided by many of us, but it doesn’t make them bad people.

On the flip side of the coin, I have often wondered why people of so little means are often so happy. Aren’t they suffering? They may live in a tiny apartment with barely the basic necessities of life, and yet many seem so cheery and content. I think it is likely that they are giving and getting love in large doses from their family, and have filled their need for love without having the benefit of, or need for, many material possessions.

And what of the seemingly obsessive desire of a mother to show love to her child? I have often been fascinated by the extent to which this love has no bounds. There are some really interesting cases, such as when a son murders his father and siblings, the mother survives, and after his conviction the mom visits her son every day in prison. How else to explain this, except by concluding that mothers have an innate and overwhelming need to give unconditional love to their offspring?

So when you see what at first appears to be odd behavior by someone, you might now understand it better, realizing that it is usually the manifestation of that person’s innate need to love and be loved.

And if you should choose to spend more of your day showing love to those around you, you will not only be providing them with the greatest gift they can possibly receive, but you will also benefit from the wonderful experience of giving love.

About the Author ()

TIM MCINTYRE retired in 2004 from his position as president of Applied Systems after facilitating a successful sale of the company. At only forty-six years old, he made the unusual decision to fully retire to pursue other interests and simply enjoy free time. As a hard-driving Type A personality, this turned out to be a significant challenge for the Notre Dame and University of Chicago-educated MBA, CPA, and Certified Cash Manager.

Comments (4)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Rick Brandl says:

    Great post Tim. So simple but so true.

  2. Tina Thompson says:

    Your post was right on time! I’m flying to Florida this afternoon to visit my mom with my 2 daughters (now 10 and 13 yrs old!) and my Italian exchange student (17). I was just wondering how I’m going to get through it, and wishing I could send the kids and stay home!

    So your email has reminded me why I booked the trip in the first place. So I’ll hold my breath and try to make some good memories 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *